A few months ago I was feeling very overwhelmed with life. I always wanted to be a wife and mother and that is exactly what I am. But somehow I had painted this picture in my head that everything was going to be sunshine and roses. My house would be clean, my laundry would be caught up-always, wonderful healthy meals would be on the table on time, and my children would obey my every word. Boy was I dumbl! Things in my life weren't even close to this. It was more like Tornadoes and thorns. I prayed and prayed for a better outlook on my life. I wanted to be happy with where God had me, but I just couldn't see the good. I wanted to know how to not be so tired and stressed all the time.
One morning I began to read in Colossians, because that's what I was studying at that time. But the whole time I was reading I felt like I should be reading Hebrews 12. I ignored it and kept reading in Colossians. Over and over Hebrews 12 kept coming to my mind. Finally, later in the afternoon, I decided to sit and read Hebrews. I was blown away. God was answering my prayer. I can't say that it was what I was expecting, but it was an answer. God wanted me to slow down. But was I really willing to do this? And at what cost?
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily traps us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1
There are generations and generations of people before me who knew how to take it easy. We have so many more conveniences and yet we are more busier than the past generations. Maybe I should take a page from how my grandmothers and great-grandmothers did things. What were their priorities? Were they trapped by the sin of business?
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up. After all you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin. Hebrews 1:2-4
It seems so ridiculous to say that it was going to be hard to slow down. It had been so hard to keep the ball rolling as fast as it was. But this was my thought process. How on earth can I slow down? I am too busy to slow down. But keeping my eyes on Jesus was going to get me through. After all he has endured much more than I ever will.
So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong. Hebrews 12:12-13
(Verses 5-11 have to do with discipline. I may speak on those is a separate post.)
This is how I would get through. Take a new grip-were was my grip? I was holding on to all of MY ideas about life, which clearly weren't working out too well. Strengthen my weak knees-what? Ok, I do not spend enough time on my knees in prayer.
Sometimes I see other moms and think, How do they do it? There house is always clean, they are involved in everything, they lead a ministry, their kids seem to be well educated. Why can't I be more like her? Well, I have come to find out that with business comes sacrifice. And sometimes the things that are sacrificed are destroying the family.
So our journey began. We have spent the past few weeks.....s-l-o-w-i-n-g down. It has been hard. Very hard! But I can say we are already seeing the fruits of this decision. I will be writing over the next few days about our decisions.